true greatness

On being a Sibolista:

"In most meetings, the members sit on the stage floor as a reminder of humility. Seniority means service: It is tradition that the seniors eat last, ride last, leave for home last. If there is not enough food, the seniors go hungry.."

- lifted from Inquirer Compact
December 22, 20005
[Dulaang Sibol is the theater group of the Ateneo High School]

cured amnesia

Christmas should be that time of the year when you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, possess this certain feeling of peace and elation that is a bit ethereal, and generally just feel "good".

well, it's the exact opposite for me.

apart from the Christmas lights sprawled on our garden, and the chilly breeze that blows occasionally, all that makes of my Christmas, is the 13th month pay that i received (and had to prepare).. the numerous gifts mom wrapped for our staff (and their children).. the red "ampao" envelopes i have to fill for my godchildren (God knows how many of them i now have!).. the hot chocolate (my favorite comfort drink of all times) i take during my quiet time in the morning and before anyone else at home awakens.. and the same pesky (forgive me Lord) children beating their make-shift drums while they shout off-key Christmas carols at the top of their lungs who come back our house every single night since the first of December and whom we sometimes, er, most of the time deliberately ignore (forgive us again, Lord).

instead of the lightness in heart, i am bogged down by this thing called worry:

1. we recently discovered a subscriber who tapped 4 extensions into his house/apartment ILLEGALLY. and they're being hard-headed despite the charges filed against them.
2. our only IT staff finally decided to work abroad (he who works skillfully and swiftly and whom we have depended much of our media content with).
3. two of our blocktimers have been very delinquent with their payments (3 months minimum and the entire year tops), that i personally want to cut off their broadcast.
4. the year is already ending and we still don't have a decent financial statement.
5. we bear much pressure while we await to see if our holiday promo clicks.
6. our three househelps are quarelling like crazy. it is such a burden just to see them point their fingers at each others' faults.
7. we have incurred a lot of expenses lately that we're always on the guard to make sure our bank account has sufficient funds (imagine how difficult it would be to break the news to our staff if we can't give their 13th month pay on time because we're not liquid. that is just heartbreaking.)

so tell me, how am i supposed to enjoy Christmas?

but all these just boils to one thought:

that i am NOT in control.
God is.

and that worrying will not make things easier. nor solve any of these problems.

amidst this chaos, i was reminded. i have remembered to call on the only Supreme Being who is immensely capable of turning things around for me. you see, i have this mild case of amnesia. and sometimes i easily forget.

come to think of it, i have never been this much closer to Him than any other Christmases i've had.

paradigm shift.

isn't that what this season ought to be? it may not come in the exact packaging we expected it to be, but the lesson stays the same: REMEMBER our Lord and Saviour.

when was the last time you remembered?

expensive gifts: not necessary

it doesn't take much to please me. really.

the "no occasion"-just-before-December gifts i received from two men close to my heart were probably more significant than any other i received.

coming from his sem break in Manila, my cousin Bene, a true blue techie guy like me, brought home a mini-tripod. it's probably one of the few gadgets i find useful-- specially for shots that need to be taken during night time. i don't trust my shaky hands. and if i want my photo without the shadow from my shaking, this tripod would be best to capture people with a scenic, well-lit background. after much cajoling and wheedling, he finally caved in, at the same time uttering "o yan na Christmas gift ko sa'yo ha".

cost: P200 (if you're good at haggling, you can even bring it down to P150!)

my dad also brought home a laptop paraphernalia. i'm not really sure how it's called. it's sort of a flashlight with a clip. he explained he wanted a light for him to see the keyboard when working at night. and without even finishing his spiel, he brought out another nifty one for me. haha. i know for a fact that he got it only for less than P100, considering he bought it from Divisoria's cheap 168 mall.. (it's surprising how this mall can turn on any person's "i want to go shopping" button. my dad's been going crazy buying stuff from this store!). yet, i am pleased with his thoughtfulness. and the thought that he knows i'd be delighted to have one. and just like my cousin, he commented "yan na Christmas gift ko sa'yo ha?"

i hope dad's just joking.

when not using it on my laptop, it doubles as a nightlamp for any book.

any normal person would find it absurd to receive these cheap gifts as Christmas gifts.

but quite frankly, i don't care. i'm actually pleased.

uberly pleased!

three mistakes + an unquenchable thirst for adventure

bambi txted 24 hrs early informing me that she's arriving in vigan. she's spending the night over. and the following day.. would be her birthday. she's the second person i know who cries on their birthdays. it must be the realization that they're nearing the big three-o. yet, they feel they haven't accomplished much.

so i decided to get her mind off it. we started the day by having dad's AUV carwashed. i didn't want to show her around with a dirty vehicle. First Mistake.

afterwards, we took an early lunch and watched FlightPlan with the free cinema tickets i got from my sister. by 1:30pm when the movie was over, i was running out of ideas where to bring her since she's been to Vigan twice and have seen most of the tourist spots already.

then i got a "lightbulb" moment. there's this museum which i always pass by heading north that i haven't seen yet: Magsingal Museum. i also remembered seeing a sign "Pikkang Falls" when i visited the adjacent town (San Juan) a few days ago. Without any second thought, off to the museum and falls we went.

Our museum tour was a breeze. Finding the falls proved to be a challenge. I have just seen the sign once. and i had no idea whether trekking to the falls would be worth it. i had no idea also how far it would take to reach it. There's just this part of me that goes after what i want no matter what it takes. "I must see it. And i must go there."

Fortunately, as i was asking directions from a street vendor, one of our staff appeared on a scooter and willingly granted my request to guide us there. He switched vehicles from a scooter to a tricycle and brought another of our staff with him.

I hinted a tone of hesitation when he was saying,

"Maganda naman po, kaso malayo ang lalakarin e. Dalawa lang po ba kayo?"
[The falls is beautiful, but you have to walk far. Will it just be the two of you?]

Being the persistent spur-of-the-moment-show-me-where-the-action-is girl that i am, I shook off his worry and replied,
"OK lang. Ituro mo lang kung san puwede mag park. Kaya namin yan."
[That's OK. Just show me where to park, and we can manage by ourselves.]

They must've thought we girls were crazy. Out of their goodheartedness, they led the convoy and never let us out of their sight.

It was a rough 5 km ride. I should've brought the older SUV. SUVs are built for terrains such as those. Second mistake.

The ride was just the beginning. As we parked in a nearby basketball court, our "tour guide" announced it would be another 20-minute hike. i looked at my feet. i was wearing my punjabi sandals. *sigh* i should've worn my Sandugo (rubber sandals). it would've been more appropriate for hikes like these. Third mistake.

carwash. SUV. sandals. 3 wrong minor decisions. if this whole thing was planned, i wouldn't have forgiven myself. but it being unplanned makes these mistakes a lot more acceptable.



did i succeed? here's what she texted the following day:

gd am! smiley tnx 4 mking my day hpy..GB

more than that, i caught myself smiling at our unplanned adventure. it made my day too. .. having the day off just to wander around my province.

birthday girl taking in the beauty of Pikkang