PERPETUATE

this entry was posted by a kuwaiti university professor:

Compartmentalized

The weekend has landed on our consciences. It’s here. What do people in their upper 20’s and 30’s do? That is the tricky question, especially if you are single. Most places are flooded with youth and families. The government and private businesses have neglected to look into this because it may be a minor demographic business venture to pursue in Kuwait. While out, one is pressed into getting married because that is the primary perception. And, for the few of us who use marriage as a pathetic excuse to depart loneliness, ironically, we soon end up divorced or displaced and felt misused because of it.

Nevertheless, this rare-breed singles age group disembarks out in this nether reality called ‘the Kuwaiti weekend.’ Our souls stalk others with eyes of wisdom in such places as cafes, beaches, gatherings, and other social functions. Our multiple identities whisper through others’ collections of characters. A few eyes target and beam seduction onto one another, or aim and shoot hatred at each other. It’s foreplay for the soul. It’s exercise for the mind. It’s a beckoning for deletion of transparency.

Few successes appear but they entail chasing and heavy pursuing of cheap cigarette talk and fragmented cliches of worlds we choose to leave but get quick-sanded into knowing. Telephone numbers are exchanged: personalities are advertised: individualities rebooted each and every time. We are all out looking for colors of love from friendship to romance to idolatry.

As the small amounts of hours of pleasure hypnotize and jolly your foundation due to having marketed and temporarily lent your BEing, you end up with the direct opposite sensation as you are home later on and your soul is dripping: leaking. Pondering how so many people have sifted through you; disposed of you as you have done the same to them. Contemplating why you do not remain with one for a long time. Thinking of ‘how and why,’ while almost all of them have also ended up in the same state as you because their egos made it hard to release themselves to someone not of the same merit.

Although your abundant friends, or should I say acquaintances, are there to ‘help’ you, to smother you, to conditionally love you whenever through what they think is unconditional love, you somehow are still alone in a world. The very same world that is striving desperately to be your family is not recognizing its overt powerful exertion. It dumps you into an uninvited refuge of loneliness, as a result. One is left addicted to hating love; addicted to loving depression. One is stripped into being *COMPARTED with a *MENTALITY very different than what he has been taught to adore: COMPARTMENTALIZED!

* Pun intended for the meaning
(repost)

posted by TANTALIZE-PERPETUATE @ Thursday, August 25, 2005

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his are:
profound thoughts.. stinging truth.. naked reality..
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liberated

LIBERATING

i have come to accept the fact that ever since i joined the family business, my life now revolves in a rural and remote place in the province. they say: "we all go back to our roots." Ilocos may be my roots, but i practically grew up in the city. even if i never really enjoyed a full urban life in my younger years, i am still drawn to the hustle and bustle-fast-paced mode of Manila..

somewhere at the back of my mind, that's where i still wanna come back to.

that, i only realized today.

a few days back, i met up with friends from church. these last two days, i found myself
networking with newfound classmates from the seminar i've attended. and just last night i was out reuniting with high school friends until the wee hours of the morning.

this doesn't sound like me at all. i'm a homebody. but i find it quite liberating.. to be able to do these without worrying about what other people will think of me. it's so freeing knowing i am not being watched and looked up to by those around me.

i love to be just myself. to be a nobody for a while. i enjoy walking along Emerald Avenue in the middle of a light drizzle. i enjoy voicing out my complaints and getting a free cinema ticket. i enjoy meeting new people and telling them my own bloopers at work. i enjoy offering a McDonald's crew a ride even if both of us are lost in Ortigas. i enjoy butting in a male-dominated conversation. i enjoy declining a bottle of beer even if that's what all my friends are drinking. i enjoy malling alone, looking for the best snorkel gear to purchase next time i'm in Manila. i enjoy not putting any make-up on even when all ladies my age are doing so.

tomorrow, i'll be back in Ilocos again. back to what i call "home". until i hear God say, "it's now time for you to leave Ilocos", i'll always be dreaming of a life in the city.

davao

just got back from a trip to davao... highlights of my trip:

1. went snorkelling at Paradise Island


2. looked for and found mom's long-lost cousins


3. enjoyed abundant fruits: rambutan, mangosteen, lanzones, and durian


4. hiking / trekking @ Eden eco-park


5. paid tribute to my alma mater-- Davao branch!


6. awed at some endangered species-- pawikan, blue crowned pigeon and peafowl

sbf (single, brown, female)

what's the deal with being 27 and having no boyfriend at all?

why do people even appear surprised if i tell them i never had any?

with all the failed relationships i've seen come and go-- those sweet beginnings and bitter endings, and marriages gone sour, why even bother getting into one when sooner or later you know you'll end up broken-hearted?

don't get me wrong. i'm not bitter and have nothing against relationships at all. i myself even dream of one day being swept off my feet. i'm a believer of passion, intimacy, and all those romantic stuff. "it's better to be hurt and have loved, than not loved at all" they say. yes, i believe in that crap too, it's just that..people treat it as some status quo, which if you don't have one, you are considered other-worldly.

in fact, i am saddened with how superficial some people see it. relationship isn't something that you have to have to be in the norm.. i don't look for it to be considered "normal". one relative even thinks i'm lesbian because i tell her i'm still "unattached and available". haha. i laugh it off.

relationship is a major decision which i think should be treated as an investment. something that needs to be taken good care of. something that requires your time and energy. NOT something that you replace soon as you get tired and bored with your partner.

i am happy with who i am now. i am contented being single. i enjoy freedom and individuality at its best. what makes them think having a boyfriend will make me any happier? probably.. when the right person comes, i will be.

i like the song which goes "it is sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along." it gives me hope that in the vastness of the universe, there's always the "right one". that's why i make sure i'm not with someone else when he comes along.

how to eat mangosteen

1. remove its crown (or as my cousins call it, the "lock")
2. squeeze
   
3. til it's cut into half
   
4. enjoy the sweet, tangy taste!