disquieted

simplify your life.

i wish.

life is complicated. a seminar i attended recently labeled me as a thinker. someone who uses her head over her emotions. facts, not feelings. the downside though is a symptom called "analysis paralysis". i tend to think too much that i spend the entire day reflecting, until it paralyses me, and i end up doing nothing.

argh. what am i supposed to do? i'm created that way. i can't just force myself to stop. and just stare. God wired me that way for a purpose.

but now i feel it is taking its toll on me. instead of enjoying my "here and now", i worry about how and why things happen. what if? if only. and all the more i think of such things, the more i get depressed. the more i cry out to God for peace. peace that passes all understanding.

understanding. maybe that's why i'm confused. i want to understand everything. i wanna know the purpose behind. i wanna see the end result. and while i waste my time trying to figure it all out, i am missing on a lot of things that really matter-- things that are true, worthy of reverence, just, pure, lovely, kind, and winsome and gracious, and worthy of praise (Philippinans 4:8).

Lord, i cast my anxious thoughts on You, knowing that worry will not bring me any good. help me focus on You.

don't try to understand everything.