liberated

LIBERATING

i have come to accept the fact that ever since i joined the family business, my life now revolves in a rural and remote place in the province. they say: "we all go back to our roots." Ilocos may be my roots, but i practically grew up in the city. even if i never really enjoyed a full urban life in my younger years, i am still drawn to the hustle and bustle-fast-paced mode of Manila..

somewhere at the back of my mind, that's where i still wanna come back to.

that, i only realized today.

a few days back, i met up with friends from church. these last two days, i found myself
networking with newfound classmates from the seminar i've attended. and just last night i was out reuniting with high school friends until the wee hours of the morning.

this doesn't sound like me at all. i'm a homebody. but i find it quite liberating.. to be able to do these without worrying about what other people will think of me. it's so freeing knowing i am not being watched and looked up to by those around me.

i love to be just myself. to be a nobody for a while. i enjoy walking along Emerald Avenue in the middle of a light drizzle. i enjoy voicing out my complaints and getting a free cinema ticket. i enjoy meeting new people and telling them my own bloopers at work. i enjoy offering a McDonald's crew a ride even if both of us are lost in Ortigas. i enjoy butting in a male-dominated conversation. i enjoy declining a bottle of beer even if that's what all my friends are drinking. i enjoy malling alone, looking for the best snorkel gear to purchase next time i'm in Manila. i enjoy not putting any make-up on even when all ladies my age are doing so.

tomorrow, i'll be back in Ilocos again. back to what i call "home". until i hear God say, "it's now time for you to leave Ilocos", i'll always be dreaming of a life in the city.