remembering the death of a loved one

it's been 7 years since my brother died. it was a quick death. i didn't even had the chance to say goodbye. the last i saw of him was at the operating room of the Lung Center of the Philippines. he was lying there with tubes in his mouth and chest. his stomach bloated. "He's stable," the doctor said and sent us home. a few hours later, we received a call informing us that Marchand's dead.
my brother died on a January. when we first visited his grave November of that year, the pain was still fresh and i was totally apalled at how others celebrated All Saints and All Souls. i must admit, we used to be one of them. but it changes the way you view things specially when the one you lost is special and close to your heart. i was surprised at how this sacred event was turned into a "party" of some sort-- people spend the night, set up tents, bring food, and entertain themselves endlessly.

where is the reverence in all of this?

on a personal note, i'd like to remember my brother on a day other than November 1-- when everyone else is at home and the graveyard is all to myself. it's more intimate that way. and flowers? i don't have anything against it, except that the living would be able to appreciate it more than the dead.

@-->---

today, i remembered the death of another loved One. on our two-day retreat, we watched a portion of the "Passion of the Christ". and as it did the first time i saw it, i was a tad emotional.

alright, not a little. i was emotional.

a little too emotional probably, since i was already trying to choke back the tears, but i shed a handful of tears anyway (to say a bucket would be exagerrating it).

while everyone else was remembering the dead, i was remembering Someone who died for me with no other reason but love on His mind. i cried not because of the gore, but because i felt His love emanating from each wound He suffered.

it was because of His love that He died for you and me.

it was because of the pressures in life that He sweat blood. He took the shame and the hurting words that would've been ours when His face was smitted by a rod. it was to take our pride and poverty that He wore a crown of thorns. He took 39 major lashes on His back to spare and heal us from any incurable disease. He considered our inconsistencies in life and our unfaithfulness to Him when His knee was broken while carrying the cross. He saw our wounded heart when His side was speared. and He saved us from all our unrighteous deeds and ancestral curses when His hands and feet were nailed on the cross.

that's how much He loves us. and there is no greater love than this.

all we have to do is receive.